I came to see you last night at the Shoreline Amphitheatre in Mountain View. I bought my ticket in April and have looked forward to our little visit for months. I’m not embarrassed to admit that despite having the most awesome husband in the world, I get all squishy feeling inside when I see you on TV or hear a Maroon 5 song on the radio. You are my 2013 version of Donnie Osmond, Shawn Cassidy, Andy Gibb. (Yes, I’m that old.) I have been known to tell my friends I would walk across the floor on my tongue for you. Only sort of joking.
So last night, I joined all the other straight or bi women and gay men who feel the same way about you. And when you first appeared on stage, I was thrilled.
Until I looked over to the left of you. Behind you, on the stage, a whole collection of disposable plastic water bottles.
And then you drank from them. You drank from them all night. And seriously, despite having the hottest tattoos ever, your hotness quotient dropped many percentage points in just a couple of hours.
You know what you could do to restore those points? You could join the ranks of guys like Jackson Browne, Jack Johnson, and Jason Mraz who have ditched single use plastic water bottles on their tours.
Maroon 5 is a member of the Plastic Pollution Coalition. But it’s not enough to say you dislike plastic pollution (Who does?) You are in a unique position to inspire millions of people to switch to tap water in reusable bottles just by drinking from a reusable bottle on stage. You don’t even have to say anything about it and people will copy what they see you do.
You know what’s really hot, Adam? What’s truly hot is a guy in a Jedi costume with a stainless steel water bottle. Lucky me. I get to sleep with this hot guy every night.