I’m in slo-mo this week after my long weekend retreat. That’s okay. It’s more than okay, actually. Most of our modern lives tend to be Rush Rush Rush, and as I’ve mentioned before, when I’m rushing is when I stop paying attention and end up doing the most harm to the planet.

Vanessa Farquharson of the blog “Green As A Thistle” is making one “green” change per day for a year. Last month, on Day 254, her green change was to regularly take some time out to sit and be still, with no distractions including TV, radio, music, or anything else but her own breath. One commenter wrote: How is this a “green” change. I really enjoy reading your blog every day, but I must say that some of your changes are weak at best.

To me, this change is not only not weak, it comes before all others. What I learned on retreat (where there was no Internet, TV, radio, or even talking outside the group dialogs in the meditation hall) is that the garbage comes first from identifying with the mind’s clutter and believing the illusion that we are all separate from each other and the planet. When we sit quietly and follow our breath, the mind can still, and we can pay attention to what’s around us that we normally ignore in our daily rush.

The sound of crows squawking, rain falling, people coughing, pots banging in the kitchen, traffic rushing a mile away on the freeway, and all the myriad voices of the world that we normally ignore. Sitting still for just five minutes can be painful or blissful, but it gets us in touch with our true connection to ourselves and the world around us. It helps us to realize that we’re not separate. And realizing that is the biggest green step of all because how can you pollute the world when you know in your heart that the world is you?

Unfortunately, it’s so easy to forget. I forget all the time. The plastic we consume and the garbage that we generate are outward manifestations of our disconnection from the natural world. As my teacher, Jon Bernie, said, pointing to his head, “In here is the real garbage.” And the enmity that we create by approaching people in a self-righteous manner about their environmental practices (like writing to companies in a way that’s more antagonistic than helpful) is a sign of our disconnection from one another. And yes, I’ve been really guilty of that one from time to time!

This Saturday, I’m going to attend the final session of my “Rethinking Plastics” training with Green Sangha in San Rafael. The training teaches us not just the facts about plastics but also how to communicate with others in a way that fosters connection rather than anger. Here is the planned sequence of the day. I share this schedule in case readers in the SF Bay Area are interested in taking the training themselves. If so, please contact me directly (my e-mail address is in my profile) for more information.

• Introductions.
• A look at the ubiquity of plastics, and their impact.
• Relaxing in the face of crisis. We will use exercises in somatic movement and awareness as entries to the art of meditation.
• Informing, encouraging, inviting. How do we get people to talk with us about the harmful effects of synthetics and non-biodegradable materials?
• Framing a presentation. In pairs we will develop sample introductions of a topic in rethinking plastics — openings that will grab our listeners’ attention.
• The art of question-asking. Strategies for engaging people in dialogue, for eliciting their knowledge and perspective, and encouraging deep thinking.
• Listening from the heart. Non-verbal signals of warmth and interest. A model for building empathy.
• Making the call. Choosing companies, stores, officials, schools, and clubs for outreach.
• Letting it all go. A reflection on the Green Sangha principle of activism, “Holding our roles lightly.” The story of Peace Pilgrim. Somatic meditation.

The challenge for me is the last one, “Letting it all go.” Letting go was actually the biggest challenge for me during the retreat this weekend. I thought I’d be able to get away from thinking about plastic for a few days and just breath and relax. What I didn’t realize was that I can’t actually drop the thoughts of plastic because I didn’t grab them in the first place. My awareness of plastic and our responsibility to the earth has become a part of me. I didn’t actually choose to focus on this issue, as I wrote in my post Tales of an On-again Off-again Activist, the issue chose me.

At first, I was disheartened by the negative thoughts I had during the first day of the retreat, wondering how much plastic was used to prepare the delicious food we were served, huffing (silently, of course) about whether or not the food scraps were composted, noticing with irritation the anti-bacterial hand soaps in the bathrooms and the chemical aerosol air fresheners in each toilet stall. That last one bothered me so much, I systematically went into each unisex or women’s bathroom (didn’t have the nerve to go into the men’s) and hid the air fresheners in the back of the cabinet under the sinks!

This is commonly what happens during these retreats. I spend the first day or so experiencing and sometimes trying to fight my own internal crap. And eventually, the fight subsides as I move into true acceptance and even love for the crap. Yes, love for the crap. Which doesn’t mean giving up on action at all. Look at the Dalai Lama, after all. He’s a pretty accepting guy. Yet look at all the activist work he does. And there’s the key. Noticing harm in the world, feeling and accepting the pain that comes up, acting to create positive change, and then letting go.

(And speaking of creating change, I did end up leaving a nice note to the retreat center asking them to consider bringing back the all-natural hand soaps and air fresheners they used to use. And I also found out that they do actually compost their kitchen scraps!)

Anyway, several years go, I created a little meditation room web page for me and a few of my friends and co-workers to go to during the day when feeling stressed at work. It lets you choose a 1-minute or 5-minute silent meditation and sounds a bell at the beginning and end of each. Here’s a link to it if you think it might be of use during your day. The link at the end of the meditation is broken at this point. But my friend Mark tells me that the page itself still works: http://www.coloringthevoid.com/meditation_room/meditation_room.htm.

What strategies do you use to find your center and stay connected in this crazy world? I’d love to hear your stories.

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