April 2 2009 Update: The following was written on April 1. Please keep that in mind as you read it. I have not stopped writing this blog!
Well, it’s been a good run. But just this morning, I accepted a job in the marketing department of Johnson & Johnson (Shhh… my current employer doesn’t know yet) and one of the stipulations is that I stop writing Fake Plastic Fish. After all, most of their products come packaged in plastic.
Now, before you get your panties in a twist, I’ve got good news. Their bottles are all recyclable, so it’s okay. Also, they recycle their office paper and turn off the lights when they leave the office, so they really are a green company.
Whatever you do, do not read today’s “emergency” Carnival by the Green Moms. These women have some problems with Johnson & Johnson, specifically the chemicals in the company’s baby products.
But J&J has assured me that these chemicals are safe in the amounts used in these products, and what motive could they possibly have to mislead us? Of course, the Green Moms are more concerned about exposure over time and the effects of multiple chemical exposures and insist this is why we need the Kid Safe Chemicals Act to be passed.
The Green Moms are especially upset at how Johnson & Johnson is using mothers to promote its products via its new Big Bubblin’ Stars Video Contest. Personally, I think it’s genius. What better way to get mothers to trust the company than by using other moms to vouch for it?
But the Green Moms wonder why Johnson & Johnson doesn’t put its money into ensuring its products are actually safe, rather than into marketing, especially since the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics’s No More Toxic Tubs Campaign (PDF) reports finding both formaldehyde and 1,4-dioxane in Johnson’s Baby Shampoo.
Well, if J&J listens to the Green Moms, I could lose my awesome new job. And besides, I don’t have kids, so I’m not really worried.
04/02/2009 UPDATE: OF COURSE this was an April Fool’s joke. Well, the part about me quitting Fake Plastic Fish and taking a job with Johnson & Johnson was a joke. Sadly, the part about toxic chemicals in J&J baby products is not. So if you haven’t had a chance to follow the links and learn more, please do so.
Most of you guys understood the joke. Surprisingly, most of my family members did not. They were all congratulating me! And Michael was all, “What? You took a new job and didn’t tell me?” It was pretty funny for half a second.