The blog formerly known as   Fake Plastic Fish

October 3, 2013

Dear Adam Levine – You Would Be So Much Hotter Without the Plastic Bottles


Dear Adam,

I came to see you last night at the Shoreline Amphitheatre in Mountain View.  I bought my ticket in April and have looked forward to our little visit for months.  I’m not embarrassed to admit that despite having the most awesome husband in the world, I get all squishy feeling inside when I see you on TV or hear a Maroon 5 song on the radio. You are my 2013 version of Donnie Osmond, Shawn Cassidy, Andy Gibb. (Yes, I’m that old.) I have been known to tell my friends I would walk across the floor on my tongue for you. Only sort of joking.

So last night, I joined all the other straight or bi women and gay men who feel the same way about you. And when you first appeared on stage, I was thrilled.


Until I looked over to the left of you. Behind you, on the stage, a whole collection of disposable plastic water bottles.


And then you drank from them. You drank from them all night. And seriously, despite having the hottest tattoos ever, your hotness quotient dropped many percentage points in just a couple of hours.


You know what you could do to restore those points? You could join the ranks of guys like Jackson Browne, Jack Johnson, and Jason Mraz who have ditched single use plastic water bottles on their tours.


Maroon 5 is a member of the Plastic Pollution Coalition.  But it’s not enough to say you dislike plastic pollution (Who does?) You are in a unique position to inspire millions of people to switch to tap water in reusable bottles just by drinking from a reusable bottle on stage.  You don’t even have to say anything about it and people will copy what they see you do.

You know what’s really hot, Adam? What’s truly hot is a guy in a Jedi costume with a stainless steel water bottle.  Lucky me. I get to sleep with this hot guy every night.



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Where can I find these stainless steel bottles?

Js Merriman

Will do!

Js Merriman

I am constantly formulating a letter in my head. Will put it on my to-do list so I actually have to-do it…

Eco novice

The best part of this post for suresies is that Jedi photo with SS bottles. After seeing that photo, I definitely want to be seen using a SS water bottle. All the cool kids are doing it! C’mon, Maroon 5, get with the program!

Js Merriman

I feel this same way whenever I’m watching The Big Bang Theory. UGH!


Cute post Beth! I hope he hears your plea! :)


Okay, I’ve got no idea who Adam Levine is (a nice Jewish boy by the sound of it!), but I think you are the cats pajamas Beth! I love the pic of you two Jedis with stainless water bottles. Completely awesome!

Tracey TieF



Love it Beth!! Never stop telling like it is.. I have know doubt he heard you.

Christine Jarc



kyoutohru7 why don’t we go back to glass bottles?


What a great post! I love the way ends.


Beth Terry GreenJulieBlog I’d volunteer too! Beth you take the West coast, I’ll take the East! ;)


OMG OMG!!! Beth I have been wondering how this concert would go since you bought the tickets!! And when you said you had a blogpost coming, I thought it could go 2 ways: Maroon 5… err… Adam Levine… plastic-free god… or even hotter hottie… or…. (fill in blank). OR… what actually happened. (bummer) I can absolutely imagine the feeling you got when you saw the plastic water bottles… but then to see Adam drink from them… ALL night… must have been like some kind of nightmare. What’s interesting is that I had thought that Reverb was doing this tour with… Read more »


This is amazing! I hope he reads it since open letters have made change before. :-) Seriously, I don’t understand why millionaire musicians can’t get a few stainless steel versions and water boys/girls. I actually would apply for that job… ;-)

Anna@Green Talk

OMG, Beth. This is so funny. And yes I remember Andy Gibb, etc. I wish he also didn’t use all those toxic substances to tattoo his body.


He is def less hotter in my book. ;)