Plastic-free Sex, Part 1 – Reducing Friction in Relationships
Happy Valentine’s Day week. We’re all adults here, right? If Burbanmom can make the astonishing admission that she and her husband like to do it (gasp!) then I’m prepared to grab that ball (NPI) and run with it. Warning: this post gets a wee bit explicit. Read at your own risk.
So I’m sitting here looking at a #3 (PVC) plastic bottle of Liquid Silk sensual lubricant. The long list of chemical ingredients includes many parabens: methyl paraben, butyl paraben, ethyl paraben, propyl paraben, as well as the preservative BHT. And this is what Michael and I are putting on and in our bodies each time we get extra specially close. The Skin Deep database gives it a provisional moderate hazard rating of 4, which is not what I’m looking for when I get in bed with my guy.
Now, I know there are natural, non-toxic water-based lubricants on the market: Firefly (formerly Nude), Good Glide, O’My Natural Lubricant, Love Lube, Sensua Organics, Sylk, and more. The problem? They all come in plastic bottles.
So we’ve recently switched to a somewhat controversial solution: pure olive oil. [2016 Update: For the past several years, we have switched to coconut oil, which has anti-fungal properties that can be helpful to women, and which doesn’t make your hoo hoo smell like a salad.] Controversial because there is disagreement over whether or not using olive oil in this way can be harmful or not. Also, I don’t think you can use it with condoms, if that’s your birth control method of choice. Some doctors, like this one from the U.K., go so far as to scoff at the very idea of using olive oil as something for the poor unwashed masses. He says:
Well, I have never heard of anybody doing this in the UK — though I have recently learned that it is sometimes done in Mediterranean countries, particularly where people can’t afford proper sex lubricants.
Frankly I wouldn’t recommend this practice, partly because no one has ever done any research so far on the effects of olive oil on the vagina — or indeed the penis.
The attitude of superiority that rings through in that statement makes me want to use olive oil just to be ornery. “Proper” sex lubricants? What “proper” sex lubricants did people use for thousands of years before synthetics were invented? And why does a lack of research automatically make something unsafe? And Mediterranean folk seem to be right about food. Maybe they know something about sex, too. Ya think?
On the other side of the fence are folk who believe that olive oil can be great for the vagina. And in between, there are various opinions all over the web about whether or not olive oil is okay to use as lube, although none of them seem to be based on facts. I’ve also read about using coconut oil or sweet almond oil for this purpose, but they’re more expensive and harder to come by plastic-free, so we’re opting to smell like salad rather than pina coladas for the time being.
So what’s the olive oil feel like? It’s nice. Doesn’t dry up like water-based lube. You don’t need to use a lot. And smells great if you enjoy the smell of good olive oil, which I do. It’s runny, so you do have to be careful not to spill it all over the place. We put ours in a used pump bottle (yes, plastic, but reused and not PVC) but any kind of bottle with a narrow spout would work. And you can use it as massage oil at the same time. Whether or not it will have negative vaginal consequences down the line remains to be seen. For now, it’s working great.
Well, that was Part 1 of my Valentine’s Day sex posts. Hope it wasn’t TMI, but I did warn you. Stay tuned for Part 2. And as always, your feedback is welcome!
hmm well i dont have to worry about this yet *blush*
coconut oil just sounds nicer though and more tropical so i suppose thats what i will use when the time comes.
One question though, wont it wreck your sheets?
i put jojoba oil on my face to reduce dry skin and i cant put it on before bed or it will wreck my pillow, and our dryer says do not put anything that ever had oil on it in the dryer or it could start a fire.
so what do u do about this (assuming the aforementioned activities are taking place in a bed)
I haven’t had any problems with it wrecking sheets. We don’t use that much — a little goes a long way. Also, I know people who use coconut oil as deodorant. You would think it would make their clothes greasy, but apparently, it is absorbed by the skin and doesn’t ruin clothing either.
My husband and I have been using extra light virgin olive oil as a sexual lubricant regularly for quite some time. It’s cheaper, paraben-free and does not dry as fast as commercial personal lubricants. I have never tried any of the other suggestions above, but I will now!
Here’s the study. My fertility doctor told me about it. He said I should stop using regular lubricants and use Preseed or canola oil aka. rapeseed oil. Since Preseed is full of chemy grossness it was an easy choice to use canola oil when we need it.
There was a study done using olive oil, coconut, and canola oil as lubricants to see if it inhibited sperm reaching it’s destination. Canola oil was sperm safe and I’m assuming all the oils mentioned in the study are vagina safe or else they wouldn’t have used them in the first place.
Sarah, do you have a link to the study or know who the researchers were and when it was done?
We have been using just Vitamin E for years. We tried olive oil early on when saliva was giving me infections and had no problems with it, hubby just said he thought it smelled kinda strong and made him want to cook. So I thought of my vitamin E, which comes in a little glass bottle (with an annoying plastic top, which I replaced with a plastic pump top). You don’t need much, so even if you are intimate often, it will last a long time. And it’s healing too – I haven’t had a single infection since.
Bravo for your willingness to tackle any topic, Beth!
I agree with the silliness of our brainwashing here. The “proper lubes” doctor made me laugh.
I’ve been married for under a year and a half, and we spontaneously have used cooking oil the whole time – starting with olive oil, because it seemed more pure and pristine, somehow, then switching to vegetable oil because it’s so much cheaper, and really, what’s the difference? With veg oil I guess you have to contend with potential GMO corn or soy. But absolutely, hands-down, this is a better choice than the chemicals in commercial lubes. Before our wedding, I was browsing the choices at the pharmacy, and none of them seemed like the kind of thing I’d want near the delicate parts of my body, yknow?
Olive oil has been used by midwives for centuries for aid during crowning, lubricating, and supporting the perineum during labor. I can’t imagine it would cause any problems for sex. And, from personal experience, it never has for us. It’s funny how brain-washed we are in favor of some commercial chemical concoction because it has been “sterilized.”
Hi Sylvia. So far no infections. And we’ve been using this method for over a year!
I wish there was a little more research on the olive oil… I don’t know how safe it is for both parties. I can’t imagine what an infection that might cause!
-Sylvia