Batter Blaster. It’s organic. It’s fast and easy. Just squirt into a pan and fry up some pancakes in seconds rather than minutes. What could be better?

I first read about Batter Blaster back in January on the Organic Picks blog. Cindy expressed total disdain for the product, as did I in my comment on her blog where I wrote, “That is just wrong on SO MANY LEVELS!” My comment caught the attention of a certain Associated Press reporter who emailed me for a follow up. This weekend, her story, including my comment, was published by news outlets large and small, from Fox News, AOL, and San Francisco Examiner, to Ventura County Star, The Sacramento Bee, The San Diego Union-Tribune, and Bakersfield Californian. All I can say is, it must have been a slow news day.

As I stated in my comment, it’s not like pancake-making the traditional way is a slow process. In this CNet video comparing canned Batter Blaster with traditional batter-making, mixing up batter the old fashioned way took 3 whole minutes, compared to the 5-second squirt from the can. So we’re now creating disposable steel and plastic containers, more physical waste, just to save 3 freakin’ minutes? Give me a break!

On the other hand, I’ve never made a pancake in my life. Ever. What do I know? So I called my friend, Mark, who makes them for himself every morning, and told him about Batter Blaster. His response: What a stupid thing! How lazy are people?

Mark, mind you, is not some radical tree-hugger. He’s your average concerned human being. He brings his reusable bags with him shopping, and since he started reading Fake Plastic Fish, he’s become more aware of and concerned about excess packaging. He’s pretty typical of what Brave New Leaf recently called “The Environmental Pragmatist.” He doesn’t grind his own wheat or gather his own eggs. But he does get up 3 minutes early to make his own pancakes:

Mark’s No Big Deal Pancake Recipe

1) Mix together 1 cup flour, 2 tsp. baking powder, 1/2 tsp. salt, 1 Tbsp. sugar or natural sweetener of your choice (in other words, not aspartame because it doesn’t bake well.)

2) Add 1 cup milk, 1 egg, and 1/4 cup oil and mix everything together. Leaving it lumpy is okay.

3) Fry up your pancakes. Now see, to me, this seems like the hardest part. How long do you leave them before flipping? How do you flip without destroying? And these problems are not solved by Batter Blaster at all!

Mark says this recipe makes 4 big pancakes, which he cooks and eats over 2 days. He says that years ago, he might have thought that making pancakes would be a pain in the butt, but now, he can pretty much do it in his sleep. In fact, when I called him at work today, he rattled off the recipe from memory.

So, maybe some people don’t have an extra 3 minutes in the morning to make up fresh pancake batter. To them, I say, “Eat cereal! And leave the pancakes for the weekend!”

This has been my rant for the week. Niceness is scheduled for tomorrow.